So many times I hear couples ask, "How do I write my vows?" It can be very intimidating putting your feelings into the correct words and having to read them in front of everyone you know! But don't worry! Here are a few quick tips to get you started in the right direction.
1. Do Your Research!
Read as much as you can from books, quotes, blogs, Pinterest, Wedding Websites and beyond! Get inspired and see what strikes a chord. Is it the wording? The style? The tone? Keep it as a starting point.
2. Decide on Format with Fiancé!
It’s nice to be on the same page and have both your vows be a similar style to keep the ceremony flowing. Humorous? Poetic? Romantic? Formal? Informal? Traditional? Nontraditional? Decide together what fits best. You can even have a sort of “fill in the blanks” where you start with the same verbiage and fill in your individual “I promise….” and “I will….”.
3. Write Out Your Story!
Jot down your past, your present and your future. Think about the feelings and emotions of these memories and dreams. Write about how you fell in love and why you’re still in love. What are the hard times you’ve gotten through? What have you accomplished together? What qualities about him/her do you admire and aspire to? What do you envision your future to be like?
4. Vows are Promises!
Come up with at least 3 promises (vows) that you feel are most important in your relationship for the future. You can include detailed ones that are particular to your marriage as well as broad spectrum ones. What can you work on to build a better marriage?
5. Avoid These!
a. Embarrassing moments
b. Stories about mistakes made in the past
c. Cliches or typical sayings
d. Deeply personal anecdotes
6. Don’t Write Them Last Minute!
You want to know what you’re going to say BEFORE you get up there. Also, having them prepared ahead of time gives you a chance to practice how you’re going to say it, which means just as much as what you’re going to say.
7. Keep Legible Copy In Hand!
Even if you have gone over these words a million times and memorized even fluctuation, still have a copy of the printed words in hand during the ceremony. The emotions of the day can be so overwhelming that you can easily forget them. If you can’t hold them, have me (officiant) hold a copy for you! Also have a backup: if you can’t get through your vows, I can prompt you with the first words or read the vows on your behalf.
Remember, these are ultimately YOUR vows and should
reflect your commitment to a happy and lifelong marriage!